Oh! Gosh, you made me jump! You really shouldn't creep up on blogs like that, I'm going to have to put in some kind of doorbell or something. Anyway, now you're here, come in and shut the door, there's a draught. Right.
I'm sure I had something very important to say, but, honestly, brain like a sieve again (if you don't believe me, just read my earlier blog about thought mice). Still, now I'm here I'll just ramble on for a bit, so you might want to go and fetch some chocolate biscuits and have a sit down, it might be quite a while before I find a point to get to.
Ah, I remember. Spiders. That was it.
There was a dead bat outside my front door the other day. Not that it died waiting to be let in, or that the postman had made a particularly unusual delivery and anyway it would have fitted through the letterbox, but there it was, casualty of cat-action I think. And I found myself wondering... how come I'm not afraid of bats/rats/snakes etc, and yet the moderate crawlie-action of a very modest-sized spider can reduce me to actual screaming, leaving-the-room hysteria? It's silly, and I know it's silly. Rats can give you diseases (although all the ones I've ever had as pets have been most careful about washing their paws and not kissing if they've had a cold), snakes can bite. Bats ...umm, I don't know why anyone is scared of bats, something to do with getting tangled in their hair or something but bats don't even have much hair and anyway I once kept one down my bra, and it's very hard to be scared of something you once had in your underwear, apart from Peter Andre, but I think that's a story for another time...
So why spiders? I have reasoned to myself that it's because you can't see their eyes. Even snakes who, let's face it, have all the facial expression of Amanda Holden after a 'BOGOF' Botox deal, you can see their eyes. Spiders allegedly have eight eyes. BUT I CAN'T SEE THEM! And that makes them sinister. The FBI don't wear those dark glasses for nothing, you know.
It's the only reason I can think of, anyway. That and the fact that spiders creep up on you when you aren't expecting it - I'm sure we've all done the 'putting on the dressing gown and subsequently finding a spider the size of a small Frisbee in there with you', haven't we?
And with that happy thought, and the knowledge that every one of you will be examining your dressing gowns with a paranoia I would be proud of, I shall leave you.
Close the door on your way out, and remember next time to knock.