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Sunday, 18 July 2010

Turn away if you're even a little bit squeamish. Honestly. It just gets worse, you know.

Earlier today I found myself on the horns of a dilemma.  Either that or I had toast crumbs in my knickers again.  Anyhow, my little cherubs, I was forced to make a choice... (it would help me immeasurably if you would do the 'dum dum duuuuuumm' noises in there yourselves. Thank you.)

Bounty ice-cream, or Maxibon?

Now, although you may find this hard to believe, my gullible little friends, I have a big problem in choosing.  Face me with a single item (perhaps the shop has sold out of all shoes but hand-made deerskin trainers) and I shall convince myself that the item available for purchase is the very thing that my little cardiac-muscle desires.  Actually, now I come to think of it, why should my heart desire anything particular?  Why not, oh, my bladder?  Or my spleen, which can be quite demanding at times?  Or my colon?

Anyway.  Where was I?  Ah yes.  My chronic inability to choose things.  Yes.  You see, had the shop in question offered only a solitary ice-cream, I should have been fine.  Just as long as that ice cream wasn't something like those horrible fruit lollies that are all ice and no cream and taste like someone has deep-frozen  one of my mother's less-successful kitchen efforts - her blackberry and ham whirl leaves quite a lot to be desired, and this is from someone who fancies Tony Robinson!

But no.  They offered me a choice.

On the one hand -Bounty ice cream, which can sometimes remind me of soap on a stick, and the little bits of coconut get jammed in all sorts of places.  On the other, Maxibon, which have an interesting covering but no stick and therefore have to be pushed wholesale into the face.

 This is what I mean.  Paralyse me with indecision, why don't you.

Okay.  So the Bounty can be eaten decorously, but I will be picking bits of coconut out of almost every orifice for the rest of the night.  Seriously, how does it get in there?  I sneezed after eating one once and I thought my brain had exploded.  But then, I like coconut, so repeat coconut is a bonus, unless I should find myself snogging some desirable creature later.  Having to explain that I'm not really disintegrating, it's just the left-overs from a Bounty is demeaning for us both.

Maxibons are interestingly cookie-like.  But is cookie something I am looking for?  Shut up that person who said that I'd found it.... They are squishy and have little lumps of chocolate in, it's like eating a medical condition.  

And that noise there is all the people who didn't believe my title, slamming the door on their way to the bathroom. 

So I teetered on the edge of decision for some while, until the lady in the shop told me to close the freezer lid, or she'd lose her cryogenics license, and then I plumped for the Bounty.

Three hours later I'm still finding coconut.


Talli Roland said...

I've never heard about Maxibon! Sounds like some kind of sanitary napkin and for that reason I'd go with Bounty. That, and I love coconut!

Sarah Callejo said...

When in doubt, go for all of them!! I'll make a decision for both of us: We'll never go shopping together; I think I would have a nervous breakdown if I did, or maybe not, I can't make my mind up... Is it infectious?

Jane Lovering said...

Sarah, we'll go shopping for wine! That should sort both of us out.

And Talli - I shall never look at a Maxibon in the same way again. They are somewhat thick and probably very effective.