Friday, 27 August 2010

Slovenia, ice-cream legs and non-bouncy pork.

Ah, there you are, my chucklebunnies, I was beginning to wonder where you had got to.  You have been remarkably patient in my absence and hardly torn any of the wallpaper off, for which I commend you.  Now, gather close, for I wish to tell you tales of my travels - for I have wandered, my dears!  Oh yes.  And now I am returned once more to your bosoms.. although I can tell from here that some of those bosoms are a little artificially augmented, are they not? Anyway, clasp me to your lumpy bits, for I have such wonders to impart...

Slovenia.  A country with a language which sounds like the pronunciation of a really bad hand in Scrabble, and place names which seem to have been taken from minor characters in a Doctor Who episode.  After a few days in Lublijana  we moved out into the country to stay on a farm called Tilnik, just outside the village of Stopnik - which, I think you will agree sound like they should be evil twins, bested by the Doctor with nothing but a cutting phrase and some quick-thinking.  We ate many, many ice creams whilst sweltering in the 30 degree heat, swam in rivers as clear as swimming pools (and a lot cleaner), visited lakes, castles, goats (although we didn't have to pay to visit the goat, she was just kind of ... there).


Us in Lublijana.  The man on the end is my husband, not Mafioso, and he's not ambitiously over-iced, he's holding mine while I take the picture. It was so hot that my ice creams kept melting before I could eat them and I had trails of vanilla and chocolate all down both my legs for most of the day.  No one else seemed to have the same problem.  Hmmm.


Lake Bled.  My family sit, unaware that on the castle behind them lurks a dragon, shortly to swoop down and carry them off to.. oh, hang on.  That was my day dream.  I am, once more, behind the camera, in a kindness to you all, because by now my hair had acquired a life of its own and was going out in the evening to clubs and things without me, and both my legs were covered in various flavours.  Also my clothes.  Later in the day, when everyone else ate another ice cream, I just sucked my T shirt.



The Wild Lake.  By the time we left it was positively livid.

So.  Slovenia. Beautiful, incomprehensible, architecturally bonkers, extremely friendly and untouristy.  Not unlike me, in fact.  Go, visit.  Stay at Tilnik (not Stopnik, he's the  more evil twin), where Kate will feed your children food that makes them realise that lasagne isn't supposed to hang on to the edges of the plate, and pork doesn't bounce or make a 'ping' sound when you try to cut it.


This is how I eventually dealt with the Ice Cream Problem.  Someone with a hammer is standing just out of shot.

9 comments:

Sarah Callejo said...

It's so good to have you back. I think I'll have an aching jaw tomorrow from reading this post.
And please tell Mafioso to take his sunglasses off next time, so we can get a better look. Otherwise, us nosy people get frustrated.
Glad you enjoyed your holidays.

Cat Marsters/Kate Johnson said...

I'm slightly concerned that you've lured your family to the far shores of the Wild Lake and left them there. There, er, doesn't seem to be an exit route.

Talli Roland said...

I like the way you deal with the ice-cream issue. You're obviously very versatile. Looks like a great trip!

Jane Lovering said...

@Sarah - no,you don't want a better look. He turns people to stone with his eyes. Like Medusa, but with better trousers.

@Kate - I wondered why my return flight was so much cheaper than the flight out! And why there was no-one else to carry my luggage.

@Talli - I am gifted. What else can I say?

Christina Courtenay said...

Loved your post, Jane - sounds like a great trip! Do I take it the rivers are now chocolate and vanilla flavoured after your visit?? :)

Ruth said...

I've been to a place where there were goats - uninvited I might add - but I can't tell you where it was because the goat ate the programme.

a local guy said...

I stumbled upon your blog, trying to google slovene keyboard, and I had to laugh reading how the language sounded to British ear ;) Maybe I should suggest to the local tourist chamber to adopt new slogan "Come to the land of Dr.Who and expand your vocabulary for Scrabble - Europe doesn't end with Austria and Italy borders - come and see Slovenia..." I would love it.

Jane Lovering said...

@local guy - Well, hello there! Nice to see you here. And I do have to say, even with the Evil Villain place names and the impossible pronunciation - Slovenia was the most beautiful country I have ever visited. The tourist board can use that one, if they like.

local guy from ex-Zone-A said...

Have you been in Piran (or any other coastal town)? These days British media report on the (very first) black mayor been elected there (and in the whole European Union so called 'new members') http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/25/peter-bossman-first-black-major-eastern-europe-slovenia
This ex-Zone-A - see the picture at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Territory_of_Trieste - bordering on Italy, has always been the most Westernized of all parts of not only this country but elsewhere on the East. Even after becoming part of then Eastern Europe when Free Territory of Trieste was abandoned we still were allowed to go shopping to Italy every week and we have had even special passports based on living near border - that's why we laugh when we are compared to the real Eastern Europe where such freedom was inconceivable.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/oct/25/peter-bossman-first-black-major-eastern-europe-slovenia
As a child, I went to school that I was told was built by British and US soldiers who built it for their children because they apparently were staying there with their families in Zone-A...