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Sunday, 26 September 2010

Cheesy remembrances - or how I demolished my friends.

Yesterday I was perched on the edge of my cheeseboard, contemplating the fromage-related events of the day, when I was contacted by an old friend.

Now, when I say old, I don't mean old, obviously, because I want to live and not lose all my fingers to a tragic 'accident'.  Whereas I have aged in a cheesy way by becoming more veiny and dimpled and possibly gaining a smell which has a character all its own, my friend (or, as we shall call her 'Lin', because it's her name), has aged like wine, becoming more full-bodied and luscious.  And expensive, but that's another story for another time and another website, one with 'GirlsGirlsGirls' in the title.

And this made me think. Which is quite a feat in itself, because it normally needs quite a large thunderstorm and the application of some greased electrodes to achieve this result. 
This was me trying to remember where I left the car keys.  Cheeseboard not shown.

How many of my old friends (still using the term to mean 'long time' and not 'aged', Lin, if you're reading this) am I still in touch with?  And by 'in touch' I mean, you know, Christmas cards and phone calls and things and absolutely NOT standing around outside their houses with a long-lens trying to get a picture of them climbing out of the bath - apparently friendship and restraining orders are two seperate things!  Who'd have guessed!

And then I answered my own question, which caused quite a few raised eyebrows and funny looks.  Note to self - when answering own questions, probably best not to do it aloud whilst standing in queue at the bank -  not many.  There are a few who look me up on 'Cheesebook' now and again, (tagline 'come for the chat, stay for the crackers') and I occasionally catch fleeting glimpses of familiar-looking hairstyles dashing down the road away from me whenI turn around suddenly.  But, apart from that, and the aforementioned full-bodied luscious one, most of my friends are new.

And then I worked out why.

And I'm really sorry.

I have to say at this point, I really didn't know what would happen if I pushed that giant button with the words 'School Demolition device - Do Not Press (unless you're the Head and it's been a really trying Friday)'.  To me it was just a big red button. 

I tripped, all right?

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