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Monday, 23 May 2011

Bits and bobs and interesting things (mostly about me, but this IS my blog...)

Right.  First things firstly.  My short story 'Just like a cat' is printed in this month's copy of 'Your Cat' magazine.  You should dash out and buy it immediately, you can't miss it, it has a picture of a cat on the front.  And inside.  Lots of pictures of cats, and my story. And other things too, of course, all cat-related, plus a really lovely picture of me and my cat.  I tried to send them a picture of me with an elephant, but apparently Your Cat is a bit of a giveaway, cats are de rigueur.  So there.

Next up.  I have been awarded a Versatile Blogger Award by the lovely and fragrant Janice Horton. It looks like this -

Now, apparently this means I have to tell you seven things you don't already know about me.  And, given the near-constant stream of drivel that pours out of my mouth at all hours of the day and night, there surely can't be many things left to tell you.  So I shall rake around and try to come up with some little titbits of information that may surprise, delight and enthrall you.  Hmmm.  Let me see.  I don't suppose telling you about my Cat story counts, does it?  No?  Bugger.
  Oh, hang on, I've got one.

1.  I can eat Marshmallows.  I don't just mean physically, anyone with a mouth and the ability to breathe whilst attempting to swallow something the size of a small bolster can do this, I can eat Marshmallows by the packetful, and not suffer any toxic sugar reactions at all.  I don't even feel slightly sick.  Nope.  Can't do Mars Bars, yuk, but Marshmallows - no probs.

Hmmm.  Something else.  Interesting and personal.  Oooh. Here's one.

2.  I cannot stand lupins.  They are creepy.  Hollyhocks and delphiniums are nearly as bad, but not quite as terrifying as lupins.

Oh, come on, don't tell me they don't make you shudder, just a little...

3.  I once raised a Pipistrelle bat by keeping it down my bra.  It didn't want to be raised there, it was hoping for fresh air, open spaces and the ability for a little recreational old-lady-scaring, but it didn't have a say in the matter.  Bats can't talk.

4.  (I'm getting into this now.)  I have Psychic Navigational Abilities.  This means I don't need a map, or GPS, I just point myself towards the end of my route and travel there without getting lost.  All right, sometimes it takes me a few days to actually arrive, and I'm often a little damper than I like when I get there, and mountains can be quite hard to get over when you're driving Peter Sallis, but nevertheless, I still get to my intended destination.

5.  I am the fourth BeeGee.  Yep.  Can't sing, can't dance (that's why they keep me hidden), but I do look fantastic in very tight white trousers, and I can do the squeaky voice like no-one's business.  Ah ah ah ah, stayin' alive.  Believe me now?

6. I've got a story in this month's Your Cat magazine.  Oh.  I've done that one, have I?  Ummm.  Sssssshh, thinking.....  I've never been to Swindon.  There, how's that?  I am going to Swindon, but bearing in mind that I shall be travelling using Psychic Navigational techniques perfected by myself over years of training, I may be able to continue in my inadvertant non-visitation of Swindon for some time. I'm sure there are many other places, equally lovely and friendly, that I haven't been to either, but for now Swindon will have to do.
I honestly don't think I'm missing much, by the looks of it.

7.  I find potatoes very boring.  Urgh, totally dull, as a foodstuff and I have it on good authority that they make rubbish stand-up comedians too.  Would you want to be stuck at a party with nothing but a King Edward's for company?  Well, there you go then, I rest my case...  Rice and pasta are pretty nearly as bad, but potatoes really take the biscuit in the bland mouth fluff department.  Sorry.

 Yeah.  What you see is what you get.  Yawn.

Now I understand that I must pass this award on to seven other bloggers of my immediate acquaintance.  So, here goes...

Of course, all of these people hate me...

Kate Johnson
Frank Tuttle
Elizabeth Currie
Lucie Wheeler
Debs Carr
Stephanie Cage
Fanciful Alice

Best of luck, chaps....


Elizabeth Currie said...

OMG Jane, this kind of looks like a curse in disguise! A versatile blogger award. Sounded really fantastic til I saw what was involved - like confessing some of your darker secrets (you already know some of mine - 'skeletons in the cupboard' etc'. Can you nominate people have already been nominated? I think the only people I could nominate would be people like you and some others who already have the award! How do I cut & paste the logo?? I'm really dim about things like this! But I guess we should thank it for getting to learn some of those darker secrets like hot-housing bats (what else do you keep down your bra? - ooops, no it's ok, I didn't ask that!) And I shall comment on your aversion to lupins and potatoes over on my blog as a reply to comment (both are Andean domesticates!!) Happy Versatile Blogger Award! Certainly you are though (a versatile blogger ... oh shut-up ...)

Jane Lovering said...

Firstly, Liz, don't panic, you don't have to take it up if you don't want to. You copy the logo over by right-clicking on it and choosing 'save image' then pasting it to your desktop (or wherever). But it is quite fun, and it does make you think... seven secrets?

Dizzy C said...


Congrats! I do love your answers for this award.
Much more interesting than some I have seen, including mine LOL

Not heard of a phobia for there a name for it?
Interesting bat story :)


Debs Carr said...

Love those answers. I'm terrified of bats, so would have been no use looking after one, mind you I don't mind lupins etc, so I think I'll stick to the flowers.

Thanks for the award.

Tracy Tidswell said...

I have always thought there is a touch of the triffid about a lupin so I'm with you there.
Is the bat still there? It's just that you occasionally enter my house and I think I have a right to know if you're bringing livestock with you.
But you're wrong about the potato, without potatoes we wouldn't have chips, silly.
As for the rest I'm going to back away slowly now because you're scaring me a little bit.

Janice Horton said...

Obviously, I think you batty. Erm....can you smell me from behind your keyboard.....?
PS. Lupins are lovely - just misunderstood. xx

Jane Lovering said...

I utterly reserve the right to loathe the lupins, they are sinister and guilty of conduct unbecoming to flowers. Bats, however, are fine, and pototoes continue dull with variable winds.
Thank you, that is all.

Alice ~ writer, crafter, boater said...

Oh my! An award! I guess this means I need to get out of my boating clothes, dig that sparkly dress out of storage and accept graciously over at mine... give me a little time and I surely will ;-)

Thank you dear friend of the North! and I hope you are well :-)


LindyLouMac in Italy said...

Thanks for giving me a laugh with my morning coffee. I miss Lupins a UK cottage garden favourite, scary, no! Potatoes boring taste my neighbours roasted in their wood oven with rosemary and you may well change your mind. :)