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Sunday, 1 May 2011

Fiesta Resistance, or how I came to own a car that looks like Peter Sallis.

I've never wanted a Ford.  Well, apart from that time I was crossing the river and my boots fell off and one of them floated downstream and I had to walk home in my socks, I have to admit that a ford would have been damned useful on that occasion.  Or a bridge, a bridge would have been better, because I'm not sure that a small line of raised concrete would have been much use to me, other than to perforate my socks as I attempted to wade with dignity from the water, while my boots made sad little 'ploppy' noises as they submerged.  And there is little sadder than the sight of a rapidly sinking wellington when you're three miles from home and it's chilly underfoot.

If the boots had looked like this then I would have dived in after them, careless of my own safety.  But they didn't.  Which is why I let them go.  Better them than me.  Although, if they'd looked like this I would have gone down with them.

Where was I?  Oh, yes.  I've had to buy a new car.  There is a long and inevitably boring story behind why I need another car, suffice it to say that our family needs three cars.  Oh.  Well, I suppose the story isn't really that long then.  So, last week I went out on the hunt for a car.  Bear it in mind that I know about as much about cars as I do about orthopaedic surgery or lawn management.  And also try to keep in mind that, since I haven't won the lottery yet (despite Mystic Meg's perpetual pronouncements that 'Today is a Lucky Day',one of which I even received on the Day of the Boot Submergence) my car buying budget was on the infinitessimal side of pathetic.  And the only car I could find was an N reg Ford Fiesta.

I didn't want a Ford.  I mean, ideally I'd like a Bugatti.  Well, no, what I'd really like is a Lamborghini or a Maserati, but I can't reliably spell those on any forms I'd have to fill in, and besides, any of those Italian jobs just make me think of Jeremy Clarkson, because they are the sort of cars he's always showing off in, so, in an attempt to ward off having to think of Jeremy Clarkson, I decided to go for the Ford.

And now, for some bizarre reason, I think of Peter Sallis.  Peter Sallis, him from Last of the Summer Wine, the one who isn't dead.  The bloke who does the voice for Wallis and Grommit.  Yes.  Him.  As far as I know, he doesn't have anything to do with Ford Fiestas, apart from just maybe having owned one at some stage in his life, but maybe not even that.  I think it's something about the front end, it has this kind of 'nose' which reminds me of Peter Sallis's. 

This is him.  Go on, take a good look.

 Tell me you can't see the resemblance.  I won't believe you, you know.


Tracey said...

Wow He does look like him!! I thought i was the only person on earth who saw people in various objects.. its nice to know i'm not alone x

Anonymous said...

Maybe, if Peter could just tilt his head to the left a little... just a little more... Nope - I'll lose my laptop before I see it. And why won't the car tilt its head at the same time?

Talli Roland said...

Gosh, the resemblance is striking!

Anonymous said...

I had to look twice to see who was the car, and who was a person.....No, I didn't believe that either! Sorry, I see no resemblance. However, congratulations on the new car. Question is, does he/she have a name, or is it actually called Peter? :-)

Dizzy C said...

I will remember this every time I see a Fiesta! :)

Just when I thought I could trade in my family car for something a bit more sporty, cos the kids were teeens, I fell in love again and am back to an estate car for the baby. ;)


Jane Lovering said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jane Lovering said...

Whoops. I deleted myself. Rubbed myself out completely.... Try again.

I am calling the car Peter Sallis, and I don't care what some of you say, I think there is a distinct similarity. Or maybe it's the hat. Peter Sallis and I will be very happy together until his MOT runs out. Or his hat falls off.

Janice Horton said...

Poor you.... (vbg) and btw what use are wellies with holes in the toes..? xx

Debs Carr said...

So funny! I've never thought to compare a human with a car before, but have obviously been missing out. I do love those boots though and can just picture myself in a pair.

Elizabeth Currie said...

The problem is Jane (and no-one seems to have spotted this!) you show Peter Sallis face on and the car um, well, rear end on! Now I ask you, would you want to have a comparison of such a kind made?
Otherwise I think you need to be seeking the 'deeper' symbolism here: perhaps it has something to do with 'sex appeal' and/or 'power/performance'?? In which case problem solved! The two match one another to perfection! Those pink stiletto boots and the subconscious Porsche-wish show you for the woman you really are Jane! Go for it!

Flowerpot said...

Yes you're right it is him! But we've had several fords - they might be boring but they are good reliable cars. Or should be!