Bear with me. In a few weeks I'm off to the Fforde Fiesta! No, not dear Peter Sallis (who continues to go very well, thank you for asking, and if that sentence baffles you then where were you last week?), but the Jasper Fforde Convention, which will be held in the environs of Swindon. I don't know why Swindon has environs.* I'm not even sure what they are - aren't they those arrow shaped things that you get on the road? Anyway, I'm going there, because I llluuuuurve, in a totally perverted and entirely unfamilyfriendly way, Jasper's 'Thursday Next' books. And if you don't know what they are...well, I'm sorry, there's no hope for you.
And one of the major points in these books is - interbook travel. Imagine! If you could visit a book, talk to its supporting cast, look around the locations..well, I suppose we are going to get to look around Swindon, hence the whole environs thing, but imagine being able to visit Manderley? Or actually poke around inside some of the cupboards in Northanger Abbey?
So today, for I am editing and shouldn't even be here... I am going to ask the question "which book would you most like to visit, and why?" Because, quite frankly, it's about time we had a bit of class on this blog, and that I made you think about things entirely unrelated to rubber underwear, Peter Sallis and cake. Oh, all right, you can think about cake for a bit, but you are absolutely FORBIDDEN from thinking about rubber underwear. Is that clear?
So. If I were at liberty to visit any book, which would I choose to wander through, criticising the curtains and annoying the dog? Hmmm. I've always fancied popping round to Wuthering Heights and giving them a piece of my mind, but fear that I'd leave the characters rather confused and liable to randomly taking up playing the tuba or talking about verruca remedies. Or I could run barefoot through the entire collection of M R James ghost stories, shouting "It's behind you!", and causing the pages of Canon Alberic's Scrapbook to flap loose in the wind of my passing.
This would be a whole lot less atmospheric with me in it. Wearing a teacosy and a crotcheted minidress and singing 'Who Let the Dogs Out' at the top of my voice. Or I might surface in Pride and Prejudice, crayoning all over Mr Darcy. Librarians everywhere would be nervous wrecks.
So, I ask you this, before I am dragged back into the editing process by my fingernails.... which book would you visit? And how much damage do you think you could do before they came after you?
* Apparently I am thinking of chevrons.
Read an excerpt from Max Seventeen! - Would you like to read an exclusive excerpt from Max Seventeen? Ah, you know you would. Simply sign up to my newsletter here, or click the Newsletter butto...
14 hours ago