NEW - CRITIQUE SERVICE

I am now offering a critique and manuscript assessment service. For further details, please e mail me at janelovering@gmail.com

Sunday, 13 January 2013

Brian Cox is not a Fair Isle zombie. And how I emptied the well of metaphors.

Ah.  There you are.  I should warn you that I'm a little low on words today, I've been writing quite a lot lately and I've used most of the words that were in my head, so I'm pretty much left with trying to build a blog out of those that are left.  So, serendipity boo to you all, trouser taser hafting raspberries.

Those were the words that were left - I didn't say they'd make any sense....

You may ask, as indeed you are expected to, 'Why, Jane, are you so low on words, oh you who usually have the vocabulary of a pocket dictionary, if the pocket concerned is quite small and mostly full of tissues, rather sticky Wether's Originals and inexplicably acquired rubber bands?'  And that is a good question, to which I shall attempt to give a good answer.

I am having an attack of zombies.  Also, a tussle with astrophysics.  For I am working on two books at once, the zombies are in the sequel to Vampire State of Mind and the astrophysics are a completely new and different book, and I am having to work hard to make sure the two do not become confused, particularly since part of my research for the astrophysics consisted of watching Brian Cox.  Loveleh, loveleh Brian, to who I must report that I have warmed considerably.

Should you not know, Brian Cox is an astrophysicist, who does a lot of televisual staring at the sky and telling us that that universe is 'loveleh'.  Brian Cox is NOT  a zombie.  Although, thinking about it, it would  make sense, I mean, the man never appears to age, seems to have a lot of teeth, and always looks a bit glossy, as one would if one was largely held together by UHU and a PVA wash.  But still, he isn't. 

I know, annoying, isn't it?

Anyway.  I have been sitting here pounding away, pouring words onto the paper like..err...like a poury thing, pouring something all over something else. Because, along with ordinary words I am also completely out of similes and metaphors.  I can just about manage a small alliteration if I take a really rather random run at it, and don't talk to me in your clanging, skittering way about onomatopoeia!  I am, if I can explain figuratively, trying to knit two complicated sweaters simultaneously, one is an Arran, with lots of twists and turns and fiddly bits where you have to take some behind and knit it there, and the other one is one of those Swedish Serial Killer jumpers with the Fair Isle patterns across the chest and you have to keep changing colours and making sure that your diamonds have really pointy tips.

Arran.  Fiddly.
Fair Isle.  Also fiddly.

And should I get the two confused... well, everyone would receive interestingly knitted Christmas presents, shockingly patterned but fascinatingly tactile. And I would set some kind of new genre, Astrophysicist Zombies.

Loveleh, loveleh brains....

6 comments:

alisonmay said...

Ah, loveleh Brian Cox. Mmmmm....

In my first novel the hero is a mathematician - that involved a weird amount of maths text book reading as research. Sadly I couldn't find a dishy tv mathmetician to use as research - I'm sure there must be one though, somewhere out there in the infinite multiverses ;)

Chris Stovell said...

Nope, you still have plenty of words left in the tank, I'm pleased to say. I think you're right about Brian (can we call him Brian?) he must have a crumbly old portrait in his attic somewhere. Good luck with both epic tomes... do you have a couple of spare words you could send over here? Perhaps Brian could deliver them?

Oh, the word thingy is 'Ewosity' - I may start off with that.

Jane Lovering said...

Alison - I could direct you to a couple of maths teachers of my acquaintance..mmmm... say no more! Although, given my taste in men you might be better off with Magnus Pike (remember him?).

And thanks for the good luck wishes, Chris, if I could persuade 'Loveleh Brian' to come over with spare words I truly would. Whether they'd be any use once he'd had his hands on them is another matter.

And 'Ewosity'? The state of things being a bit 'ewww'?

Maggi Sherwin said...

Writing two books at once AND knitting two jumpers? I'd think you were Superwoman but there is an easier explanation. With all this talk about Brian Cox and astrophysics you ain't fooling no-one my girl! He helped you find that wormhole in space didn't he? You've travelled through it to an alternative Universe and brought back another self to help you out. No, it's no no good denying it. (Erm, she couldn't knit the Fair Isle in size 18 for me before she's goes back, could she?)
Eileen

Jane Lovering said...

Sorry, Maggi, the jumpers are only metaphorical, to illustrate the difficulty of writing two very different books simultaneously. But I can do you a lovely Vampire Fiction in an 18, if you don't mind the sleeves being a bit loose...

Flowerpot said...

Good luck on the tomes, Jane - sound very complicated! But I know you can do it.... I love the Word Ewosity. that's incredible!