I was at my wits' end earlier this week, it's not a long journey, and the view is nice so I took a picnic. The trip was occasioned by my needing somebody to Guest for me at the Choc Lit blog, it being my turn to blog on Friday, and after I had rotated with anxiety about the likelihood of my coming up with anybody capable of stringing together a couple of sentences not filled with expletives, I took the aforementioned adventure out to the end of my wits. Once there, I hastily ran through my somewhat limited list of people who might be able to rope a few words, drag them together and throw in a couple of adverbs, some conjunctions and maybe, if I was lucky, a pronoun or two.
All my Choc Lit friends were clearly out of the running - not, I hasten to add, because of any lack of willingness in the wordage department, but more because they were all on day trips to the viewpoint of their own choosing, wits optional. Besides, we take it in turns to post on the Choc Lit blog, and I didn't think "I can't think of anything to say or anyone to ask" was a sufficiently good reason for excusing myself, so there I sat, overlooking the slumped landscape of Nervous Collapse, eating banana sandwiches and pondering.
I like a good ponder now and again. I think it's the newts that put people off generally, but I'm quite fond of them, and sometimes there's frogspawn.
Of course, there is the possibility that I may have misunderstood, but, never mind. I enjoy myself, and that's what counts.
Where - I thought to myself, there being no-body located conveniently close by for me to think at - am I going to come up with a willing compliant subject? Someone sufficiently capable of writing words which might be read without protective clothing and yet also capable of being interesting for no pay...
Dear Reader - yes, that's you... no, not you, you, the big one, at the back... I came up with the perfect solution. And the post was duly (and timely) posted, was erudite...no, you're thinking of Araldite... witty and well-informed. I returned from Wits' End on the bus, having eaten all the sandwiches and the Emergency Kit Kat that I had packed 'just in case', and breathed a huge sigh of relief.
And now that curiosity has the better of you, may I suggest that you pop yourselves over to the blog to find out exactly who I found to snatch me from the jaws of despair? It's all right, you don't need to take a packed lunch, it's not far. In fact, it's just here.
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