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Sunday, 24 March 2013

Spring. It's not just meant to be an amusing 'boinnngg' noise, you know. It's meant to be a Real Thing.

I'm sitting, over here, look up a bit and to your left.. staring at a calendar.  My expression is...screw up your eyes and picture it... a cross between exasperation, disbelief, anger, annoyance, a sheer numb acceptance and a teeny little bit of weary resignation.  Are you picturing it?  My eyes are all slitty and squinty, my nose is wrinkled, my mouth is all 'grrrrrr' and I am sitting on my hands.

For the picture on my calendar, for March this year, is a lovely sunlit church surrounded by daffodils.  Well, yes, and gravestones as well, obviously, but it's the daffodils that are giving me the 'grrrrrrs' not the gravestones, because they would be there anyway.  Daffodils.  And sunshine.

This is the very one.  Farndale church.  Daffodils.  Sunshine.  Grrrrr not pictured.  And do you know why this lovely, innocent picture is giving me the unholy grrrrs?  I am sure you, in your perspicacity and sagaciousness can work it out....

Because this -

The 'Three Helgas'.  They aren't happy either.
is what is currently outside my window.  Daffodils - none.  Sunshine - well, a little bit, but there's a forty mile an hour gale taking most of the benefit, the hens don't need to fly they just jump and glide.  No snowdrops, nothing.

And I am unhappy about this.  I am not one of nature's 'warm people', in fact it has been posited that there is some kind of reptilian blood in my veins, particularly by anyone attempting to share a duvet with me during a chilly night.  I have endured a winter, throughout which the only thing keeping me going has been the prospect of spring - that and lots of cups of hot tea, fleecy lined trousers and an electric blanket - and now spring is here more sort of, isn't.  I'm FED UP with having to wear so many clothes that I cannot bend my arms or legs, TIRED of having to sleep under two simultaneous duvets, IMPATIENT with knowing that I have to start my car fifteen minutes before I have to leave home to go anywhere simply so that I can clear a small hole in the ice-layer in order to see where I'm going and INCREDIBLY CROSS that my mouse-hand is frozen into a kind of claw-shape, and has gone blue.  And has, now I come to look at it, actually FALLEN OFF.

Send me the forms, people, I am going to make an Official Complaint.


Chris Stovell said...

Oh me too, I'm another reptile in need of sunshine with some real warmth in it. And, like you, I'm fed up with wearing so many layers - three again, today, including the heavy jumper I wear when I'm hill-walking. As for the oil tank *breaks off weeping copiously* it's going to bankrupt me! Sorry - you started it!
Haha - word thingy today is Firemun - what a joke!

D.J. Kirkby said...

*passes triplicate form*

Jane Lovering said...

Yes, Chris, I feel your pain on the oil thing, I've usually shut my heating down by now, but it's currently roaring away like a fifty-pound-note-eating machine.I'm deliberately not thinking about it. I'm too cold to think, anyway.

*Fills in forms in triplicate and searches around for someone to post them to*

Flowerpot said...

Oh it's terrible this winter isn't it? Shall we all emigrate - but where?

littlegrebe said...

I got really excited today because we had a fly on the window in the sun! I found myself yelling at my two-year-old granddaughter "Look a fly! You can see it's shadow on the curtain! It must be spring!"

Oh dear ......