I've been given away again this week.
Not me personally, I have never actually been 'given away', unless you count weddings and such, and even there it was more of a raffle, no, this time it was Vampire State of Mind. That's one of my books, for anyone reading this whilst being unaware of the fact that I write books, which does happen, especially when someone has googled 'PVC Underwear' or '100 ways to kill someone with a chocolate eclair' and lighted upon my words of wisdomish accidentally.
This time it was in Starbucks. VSOM (as it is catchily called by those of us who can't be bothered to say actual words) was the free app that can be picked up by the till by those with an extraordinarily well-developed sense of acuity. In Starbucks! All over the country!
Of course, I had to see this for myself! I couldn't take it as truth, even though I was being regularly sent pictures of my little book cover lounging around by Starbucks tills countrywide - I had to get to a Starbucks, and quickly! Unfortunately, living in the wilds of North Yorkshire (it's not that wild, we've got roads and things, and sometimes buses, just not where I live, and we rarely get eaten by wild animals unless being pecked by a pheasant counts) means that there are very few Starbucks near me. I know, crazy isn't it? Sometimes we all gather round and talk in hushed voices about caramel frappucinos and those little pots of yoghurt that you can put maple syrup in, until we are overcome with longing. But anyway. I could not take as gospel the fact that my very own book was being made available in the massive outlet that is Starbucks, so I packed a survival kit (containing warm clothing, a shovel, needle and thread, four sachets of dehydrated food and a flask of coffee, which was a bit 'coals to Newcastle' now I come to think of it), bade my family a fond farewell, and set off for my nearest Starbucks, which lay some 30 miles distant, in the far-off, and semi-mystical, town of York.
Actually, I took a couple of members of my family with me. I mean, if there's going to be a life-threatening situation with pheasants, having some spare people around always comes in handy. And, besides, I needed someone to hold the camera.
And here is the result. (warning, it's a picture that's got me in it, so you may wish to shield your eyes and remove sensitive individuals from the room before you look).
No, I have no idea what I'm wearing either. Or why I look as if I'm about to tear out someone's throat. But, that there, hovering just above my left hand, that is VSOM on its little App card thingie. Just in front of the sign that tells you that Starbucks will make your drink the way you like it. As opposed, presumably, to making it with solid carbon dioxide and lumps of yak pooh, or something, I didn't ask. I just got the picture, drank my caramel frappucino whilst making little 'mmmmmmm' sounds of pleasure and savouring every mouthful since I probably won't taste another for about five years (see above), and went home.
Where I had a cup of coffee, and started another book. Well, life has to go on, doesn't it?
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