And it's come to my attention that a lot of these memes tend to be fluffy things. I've had the '25 things you never knew about me' one (Thanks Rhoda Baxter for that one...) which was quite tricky because, as you all know, I can't shut up about anything. So I had to do '25 Things you Never Knew About Hubble Bubble' and I think I got to about 8 before I ran out of things to say and degenerated into 'It's written using real words, built of actual letters'. I've not seen 'My Top Ten Kittens' yet (although I wouldn't put it past my friend Kate Johnson to come up with that one) but it can only be a matter of time before '12 Things I Reeeeelly Reeeelly Lurve' comes to get me (that would also be a short list).
So, I'm redressing the balance in the other direction, and giving you 'Some Things I Hate'. I'm not defining the number because I might hit upon Disgust Paydirt and come up with a very very long list, or I might be feeling remarkably charitable and only manage a couple. Either way my karma is going to tarnish somewhat as a result of this list, and I may have to suffer reincarnation as a wasp, but it's a risk I'm prepared to take for the dubious pleasure of imagining you nodding your heads and saying 'oh, so true'...
Here we go then.
People who overtake me as I'm slowing down to go into a restricted speed zone or am driving at the 30 limit through a village, particularly people who drive Saabs and live just outside Snainton, you know who you are.
Hot buttered anything. You might just as well serve the butter on the side of the plate. Or butter your own arm.
People who put empty packets back in the cupboard, leading me to believe that there are still Hobnobs to be had, thus causing extreme disappointment later in the day. Also the subset of behaviours that cause used matches to be put back in the box, and biros that have long made their last mark, back in the drawer.
Anything that lands on my face in the night. Yes, even Tony Robinson. There's little worse than being roused from a pleasant dream to the knowledge that something just ran over your mouth. Apart from being roused from a pleasant dream of eating something....
Pickled beetroot. Two substances that should never be combined. Like nitro-glycerine.
Stealth rain. Come on, have the decency to come out of a big, black cloud that we can see coming from miles away...Also, stealth smells, ditto.
The hour of five o clock. The a.m one is just far too early, and the p.m one is an hour filled with general ennuie before dinner and evening-proper.
Clouds. Nothing should hang in the air like that, apart from hang-gliders and dog-farts.
And finally - hollyhocks and lupins. I have no problem with foxgloves, oddly enough, but a life-long hatred of most of the lupinate family.
|Look at them. All tall and....lupiny. It's not natural, I tell you.|