I have a bit of a problem here.
I'm blogging a bit later than usual because I've been writing. Like a loon, actually, although I have to confess I'm not sure how a loon would write, or, indeed what a loon is. Some sort of animal, I'm presuming, which would mean trying to type with paws... Or is a bird? Because that only complicates matters; birds don't have much at their disposal to make typing easy, or even possible, although I suppose they could use their beaks and sort of peck at the keyboard, but this would be slow and frustrating, always supposing birds are capable of frustration. Anyway. That's how I've been writing.
And I've run out of words. Yep, completely. Just poured them all down on the paper, splurge splurge splurge, with a sound like a walrus attempting to get out of a jelly bath. That was the noise the ideas made as they hit the page, I hasten to add, I wasn't sitting here doing impersonations or anything. And, in consequence, I only have three words left sitting in my head, unrequired by my current work in progress. These are, in no particular order, mast, rhinoceros, and Englebert Humperdink. I know that Englebert Humperdink is two words, but since they are a name, which is the name of one person, I'm counting them as one.
This leaves me at a bit of a loss. How on earth am I supposed to construct a blog around those three words (or four, if you're being pedantic or don't know who Englebert Humperdink is)? Even if it were possible, what kind of blog post would it be? I mean, I ask you, I don't sail, I'm not a big game hunter, and I have no interest in whatever it is that Englebert Humperdink might be up to these days! So these are the three (four) most useless words to have left in my vocabulary, added to which I still have to finish the book on which all my other words have been used...
So, in a year or so's time, if you pick up a book by me and read through its lovingly handcrafted pages (all the time wondering what that squelching sound could be), and then, upon reaching the denouement, you find that the final page contains only the words mast rhinoceros and Englebert Humperdink, please feel free to flip back to this blog post and pity me.
Even kittens aren't going to get me out of this one.
Book Review: Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng - Celeste Ng’s second novel Little Fires Everywhere is out today in the UK and I’m thrilled to be taking part in the blog tour to celebrate its publication. ...
1 week ago