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Sunday, 9 March 2014

I ponder the casting of clouts, what, where and when? And why? And what does it have to do with throwing leftover pie at the fence?

It has been quite mild around here recently and, all right, I admit it, I am thinking of casting the odd clout.  I haven't quite settled on which one to cast, obviously, so I am sitting here fully clouted and think I may have to post some kind of online poll.

I refer, of course, to the old saying 'cast not a clout until May is out'. Up here in darkest Yorkshire, a clout is generally an item of clothing. That, or a clump of earth, so I am thinking of hedging my bets and celebrating the onset of spring by taking off my socks and throwing a handful of mud at the wall, which will not only leave me with chilly feet, but will also confuse the neighbours. Probably not much though, I have a tendency to lob things at fences, and mud will make a nice change from leftover pie, cats and annoying books.  The jury is still out on the sock thing, though. Maybe I could just cautiously remove one arm from my vest, in case the weather should take a turn for the worse again?  But if it continues to get warm that would leave me wearing three quarters of a bunched-up vest around my upper quadrant, which, at my time of life, does not need any additional bunching because I already have the torso of an elephant which has recently lost quite a lot of weight very quickly.

And, having sorted out the whole 'clout' question, there is still the dubiosity of which May we are talking about.  Is it May as in..

Because that seems a long time to wait, and May isn't completely out until the first of June which is a Sunday and I am bound by my (fairly specialised) religion not to remove any items made of wool on a Sunday, which means taking the picnic rug out of the back of the car is banned for starters.

Or are we talking about may like...

which, this far north, is sometimes not out until well into August, when I have become bonded to my clouts and have to soak them off in the bath.

Now I'm confused. Maybe I shall just keep all my clothes on and just throw some more pie at the fence...

1 comment:

Chris Stovell said...

Tom once lobbed a King Edward spud in the general direction of our former... Note that word... Former neighbours' dog to stop it barking. Alas no clouts being cast here, it' s still nippy noodles. We can hope.. Or chuck spuds around to stay warm.