|Does anyone else think this just looks like a really inefficient way of catching cod?|
So. How long does it take to write a book? That's a question that's a bit like 'how long is a piece of string?' I wrote one of my books in six weeks. Others take around six to nine months. One took over a year. But that's just the physical writing, you see, the bum-on-chair, fingers-to-keyboard, biscuit-to-mouth stage. The stage where people can see what you are doing. There is a whole stage previous to that one, which is a stage I call 'cooking the book' (which is not at all like 'cooking the books', which is strictly illegal and, since I cannot reliably count my own fingers and get the same number twice, probably not something I shall ever do). This is the stage where a writer walks around a lot, talking to themselves, sometimes ejaculating such gems as "if it's purple, it could work!" and also sometimes wearing their pants on their heads.
You see, if you aren't a writer, you won't understand this but...to a writer everything is writing. A writer, upon very reasonably being asked what the hell they are doing when they are standing in a field poking a large tree with a stick, can pefectly honestly answer 'I'm writing'. Because, in their head, they might need the information about what happens when you poke a large tree with a stick (no, I've no idea either, but maybe they are writing Swedish Crime Thrillers, where a lot of tree poking goes on. I understand. I don't read them. Because of the tree poking thing).
|This was originally called 'The Girl Who Poked the Oak Tree with Really Quite a Long Stick.'|
And it will. But it might be twenty years down the line when everyone else has forgotten. But writers Never Forget Anything. Anything plot related, that is. I can't remember where I put the car keys.