I am now offering a critique and manuscript assessment service. For further details, please e mail me at

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Expecting The Beast, how far up the cat will it go?

Well, we've been warned. Cold weather is, apparently, on its way.

Now, it might have escaped some people's notice, but we've actually been entertaining a little season we like to call 'winter' lately. You know, that time between November and May when it gets darker and the birds finally shut up and the grass stops growing? That one?
Here's a clue. It looks a bit like this, only with less dog. Usually.
And the temperature fluctates on a day to day basis from 'nice in the sun but chilly in the wind' to 'cor, blimey that's cold, I'm going back inside to light the fire'. So. Winter is Cold. We can deal with that.

But, apparently, this Cold is bringing Snow! There might be lots of it!

Thanks for that, weather people. Can you stop giving me predicted snowfall in centimetres and tell me how far it's going to come up the cat? I still, despite having had a run of many years at it,cannot think in centimetres, but if the weather person could stand in front of their map and, maybe, indicate? With their hands?
 'In Yorkshire, we're forecasting around five centimetres of snow, which is this much' (holds hands apart to show how deep it is) or, approximately a quarter of the way up the legs of your average cat. For Jane Lovering, that means, don't let Zac out, but Big Arthur should be absolutely fine.'

That would be nice.

How far up the fluffy one? Vaguely?

1 comment:

Angela Britnell said...

Hope all your animals survive an encounter with the beast!